1)[Excerpts from a phone call between George W. Bush and French president Jacques Chirac]

Bush> Remember, Jacques: if it weren't for our help in WWII, now you'd be speaking German.

Chirac> I know, but consider this: if it weren't for our help in the Independence war, you'd be speaking English.

2)My favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is the one that says
'First Iraq, then France'."

3)"The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from
Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France."

1)Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? It weights 21,000 pounds. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered.

 

2)In protest of France's opposition to a U.S. war on Iraq, the U.S. Congress' cafeteria has changed french fries and french toast to 'freedom fries' and 'freedom toast.' Afterwards, the congressmen were so pleased with themselves, they all started freedom kissing each other. In a related story, in France, American cheese is now referred to as 'idiot cheese.

 

3)You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people.

 

4)French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.